TL;DR? Read it, you lazy shit

That's cool.  This summer, people seem to really be making an effort to connect with themselves by chronicling their lives on a different blogosphere aside from Tumblr.  K with that said, we're moving on.  Okay, you I-Tumbl'd-before-it-was-coolers, you I-spotted-Blogspot-before-the-teenagers-did, and especially you ~*Xanga 4EVA*~ losers, shut your lingering, bitter, hipstershit thoughts up for three seconds and fuckin' read what I have to say. (Fuck! You people are too much sometimes!)

Some people are commiting themselves to learn how to cook (don't forget to preheat the oven before you prep; you'll thank me later), others are wringing out original ideas (is anything original anymore?), and creative (whatever the fuck that adjective means anymore..) folk are styling themselves pretty (Instagram that shit or LOOKBOOK it, gurLL).  And me? Well, I'm a lazy motherfucker so I'm just going to post anything and everything.  No filters.  No fillers.  No perservatives.  Moi naturellement.  Me in the closest thing I could get to flesh on the internet.  Why? 'Cause I fucking can, that's why.     

So enjoy your stovetops, your new ideas, your fasionable ways, and your instacrap.  I'll be kicking it and chilling on the sofa with my new bro way of life.  So, I'll let you know when it is the next time I order pizza.  Maybe after we can just skateboard 'til we fall (battle scars, baby), blast Three Loco on our way to 7-eleven (Thank god for SLURPEEs), workout at the gym (get swole or die 'cause This is Sparta, bitch), and then chill in the hot tub to finish it off (please don't invite Snookie). 

Until then.

Oh, and can you pass me the remote control on your way out?  I'm really comfortable right here and I don't want to disrupt the aura of wholesome comfort perfection I have here.  K, neato