The 21st Century: Feminists

No, you need bigger boobs

And Nothing But The Truth

Rectal

Gave that bitch anal,
Bitches hate anal

Don't Mention It, Bro

Donald Trump is such a boner killer

Sausage Fest

Guess what?! BROUGHT MORE DUDES!!

The 21st Century: the Internet

There is not another picture that perfectly
depicts the wonders of the cyberweb.

The 21st Century: Pizza Rolls

The 21st Century: Nails

This is obscene.

Why would anyone do this to themselves?

And God said, "It was good"

Woe is Me

The man in the middle, right, left hand corner is my grandfather.

The 21st Century: Romance

Cyrano de Bergerac could not have said it better himself  

The 21st Century: Beauty

My little brother: If you were around when the Ancient Greeks were reigning, you'd be hot shit.  All the men would've been like ,"Her, I like because she looks like she can handle my babies".  Now, they just look at you and think, "Damn, girl! It wouldn't hurt to lose a couple of pounds!"

The 21st Century: Kayne West

In a nutshell

The 21st Century: Music

Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you:
The savant of our generation.

In the words of Shakespeare:
"...some have greatness thrust upon them."

The 21st Century: Lyrics

"Please take off your pants"
The poetic beauty of line above,
It is unparalleled in 'ts succinctness and profound nature;
't will, without a drop of doubt, pass the test of time,
Ne'er will it perish to the dark depths of obscurity,
Like many ere it.

Profound and brilliant,
Profound and brilliant, indeed.

Accountability vs. Results

This is how I see it:
When it comes to elections,
you're voting based on accountability and then expecting and hoping for results.

That's a likely recipe for disappointment because accountability is more likely to bring results, but it's not always guaranteed.  There's only so much a couple of old farts (ok, fine, they're not that old) can do in an old, but nice, building. 
But many have survived and moved on, whether that be to complain about how badly the elected officials are doing, or actually do something about it by actively participating.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and continue to sculp my meat castle with exercise.

Dinner + A show

TL;DR? Read it, you lazy shit

That's cool.  This summer, people seem to really be making an effort to connect with themselves by chronicling their lives on a different blogosphere aside from Tumblr.  K with that said, we're moving on.  Okay, you I-Tumbl'd-before-it-was-coolers, you I-spotted-Blogspot-before-the-teenagers-did, and especially you ~*Xanga 4EVA*~ losers, shut your lingering, bitter, hipstershit thoughts up for three seconds and fuckin' read what I have to say. (Fuck! You people are too much sometimes!)

Some people are commiting themselves to learn how to cook (don't forget to preheat the oven before you prep; you'll thank me later), others are wringing out original ideas (is anything original anymore?), and creative (whatever the fuck that adjective means anymore..) folk are styling themselves pretty (Instagram that shit or LOOKBOOK it, gurLL).  And me? Well, I'm a lazy motherfucker so I'm just going to post anything and everything.  No filters.  No fillers.  No perservatives.  Moi naturellement.  Me in the closest thing I could get to flesh on the internet.  Why? 'Cause I fucking can, that's why.     

So enjoy your stovetops, your new ideas, your fasionable ways, and your instacrap.  I'll be kicking it and chilling on the sofa with my new bro way of life.  So, I'll let you know when it is the next time I order pizza.  Maybe after we can just skateboard 'til we fall (battle scars, baby), blast Three Loco on our way to 7-eleven (Thank god for SLURPEEs), workout at the gym (get swole or die 'cause This is Sparta, bitch), and then chill in the hot tub to finish it off (please don't invite Snookie). 

Until then.

Oh, and can you pass me the remote control on your way out?  I'm really comfortable right here and I don't want to disrupt the aura of wholesome comfort perfection I have here.  K, neato